Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I'm gonna talk about Bram all I want....

More irked than I wish to admit by that comment from yesterday so: Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram, Bram. K.

And I love my sons, all 4 of them, I'm the mother of four and death will not stop that. And today I was sad, and I'm allowed to be sad OK?! When you see your child's SKULL and them BLEEDING, and feeling their PULSE FADING, then you get to have a freaking full time wallow fest until your own death. And I NEVER EVER EVER EVER claimed to be the only mother who lost a child. But I am the only mother who lost Bram. Just like my friend's who have lost their sweet perfect babies are the only mothers who lost their sweet perfect babies(you know who you are warrior mamas, your sweet babies names dance in my head just thinking about you, sending you love, and even if I don't know you I'm sending you love). I don't know what it's like to ache with every breath for their babies, but boy can we relate to that ache. SO PPFFFFFTTTTTT!

Bram Xavier Venn, my chunkin'st, plumpin'st, heafiness, zestiness, my perfect boy; I LOVE YOU! Your brothers love and miss you. Your daddy sees you in EVERYTHING. We can't wait to hold you again, our sweet brave boy, who knew better than anyone how to love fearlessly, how to enjoy every second and make a life no matter how short count. You are loved and I will NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU.

3 comments:

  1. Honestly, I don't know you out side of this one post, but I am so greatful that I fell upon your blog. Just know that it is just fine to scream BRAM from the roof tops, because as a mom who has lost a baby this is our way of healing and making sure our children and their memories will never go away. If people don't like it then they don't have to read your blog. As a friend of mine always says "I wish you enough"

    Jodi (from "still standing magazine" reader)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jodi. And I agree if someone doesn't like my blog, they don't have to read it!

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  2. Please don't ever stop talking about Bram. I love hearing about him.

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Thanks for reading and loving Bram!