If I was a better person, I could be there for my friends and family in all the ways they need.
If I was a better person, I would have protected Bram better.
If I was a better person, Bram would be alive.
If I was a better person, no one would leave me.
So stay away, because I am toxic. I will hurt you. I've been told often enough in my life of how horrible of a person I am. Bram shouldn't have been the one to pay for who I am and what I've done. It should have been me. But I guess losing him is my own personal version of hell. Sorry Bram. I'm so so sorry.