Talk about Bram. I always want to, yet in the past few weeks I hesitate. I hold back. As long as you don't mention him I assume you're too uncomfortable, that you can't handle it. My everyday is TOO uncomfortable and I can't handle it. But until you say his name I assume I can't talk about him, because suddenly everything will be sad, and I'll be ruining everyone's day.
There are so many situations where I feel I can't talk about him. I can't bring him up in parenting groups when people start talking, or occasionally whining, about their current set of parenting challenges. When all I want to say is "I'll take your freaking problem!" because I want him here to be my current parenting challenge. But he's not so I resent you, and I'm jealous, and it hurts to see you taking for granted even the hard moments. Yet that's crazy, parents need and deserve to vent, but it hurts anyway.
So talk about Bram, because I can't. I don't know when it's ok to bring him up. So I hide in my room, and post about him on facebook, because you can't make me censor myself there, though it's come up.