Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Thinking of what should have been...

I keep thinking of the future Bram should have had.

That day I was supposed to go pick up bikes (2nd hand from Craigslist) for Bram and K, and in a few days T. The joy of having to email, in the hospital parking lot as the time to pick up approached saying "Sorry, my kid was hit my a car I won't be picking up the bike." We were supposed to have family pictures, family pictures we'll never have. The picture on this blog is our only COMPLETE family picture.

I keep thinking of the future and hey, that is huge since I haven't thought of the future since November 16th. Wondering about the partner he would have chosen in life. Wondering about the career he would have had. Wondering what he would be like as a teen. Wondering what his children would look like. And it just makes me sad.

I have this amazing husband, who loves unconditionally, who works hard for his family, who gives himself to those he loves without question or hesitation. I love that we've had 4 sons and that they get this amazing example of what it is to be a man. I'm so sad that the world has been deprived of what would have been a man greater than the man he came from, I'm so sad that there is a girl in the world I'll never know because  Bram isn't here to love her. This hole in our family doesn't just exist for me, TJ, and the kids, but this whole continues into the future forever.

Bram deserved a future, the future deserved Bram.

1 comment:

Thanks for reading and loving Bram!