Monday, April 1, 2013

Seasons

Bram died in the fall, the season of dying. Grief carried me into winter time when the world around you is barren, frozen, unwelcoming. Spring is here but it's still cold, will life blossom again?

I'm at a stand still. I'm still having flashbacks, I'm still hurting. Yet I feel frozen, afraid to keep going, afraid to get out of bed. I've reached out for help only to have it fall through, to have support groups be unreachable.

I don't know where I am now. I don't know anymore.

1 comment:

  1. Death sucks and does not make sense, especially when talking about a child who had their whole life to live. Nothing, no words, no time, NOTHING will ever take your pain away. These days after the initial shock has worn off and you are trying to live your "new normal" are some of the hardest through the valley of grief and sometimes instead of one day at a time, you might need to take it one hour at a time. This grief is YOURS and yours alone, no one can or should ever tell you how you should be feeling or handling the loss of your son.... it is okay..its ok to say you're not making it, to be angry at the unfairness, it's ok to grieve.. because you LOVE Bram with just as much passion and ache as you miss him... and NOONE would ever try to take your LOVE for him away... to grieve so deeply, shows you loved just as deeply. Thinking of you and keeping you close in prayers

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Thanks for reading and loving Bram!