Bram died in the fall, the season of dying. Grief carried me into winter time when the world around you is barren, frozen, unwelcoming. Spring is here but it's still cold, will life blossom again?
I'm at a stand still. I'm still having flashbacks, I'm still hurting. Yet I feel frozen, afraid to keep going, afraid to get out of bed. I've reached out for help only to have it fall through, to have support groups be unreachable.
I don't know where I am now. I don't know anymore.