We've seen the memes. We may have even laugh or shared them. But I have to tell you, as funny as you think it is. It's not.
|Welp, the internets have spoken. I have failed the ultimate test in good parenting.|
|The kids aren't all alive, and I'm still in my pajamas, and I feel pretty ugly reading this.|
|Failed at taking that shower too.|
I understand the bad days, where life really pushes you to your limits and then some, where the house is left in shambles, where you really just don't get out of bed or function beyond telling the kids how to make a sandwich. But here is the thing, according to this standard thousands of parents are failures, through no fault of their own they have failed the ULTIMATE in proving that they are good parents. These memes feed into the guilt I carry, they make my pain bigger on the days it's not, they make me wish I had been gutted of my reproductive organs before I brought another person into this world.
It's hard enough to lose a child, it's hard enough to know that for the rest of my life I will question my value as a mother, but to have this slapped in my face, LAUGHED ABOUT in my face on a continuing basis what are you telling me? I failed. I failed Bram, because I didn't keep him alive.
How about on those bad days, instead of "at least the kids are alive" how about "I'm pretty awesome for making it through a rough day"? That's far kinder to those of us who carry a burden you don't know and I hope you'll never know. It's far more loving to yourself as well.
A kid dying isn't funny. Thanks for the sharp stick to the eye.