Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Another version of victim blaming...

A mama lost her sweet little boy (you can read about it on her blog), he was just a couple months older than A, and his name, Patrick, was going to be Bram's name.

I read her blog post today. I'm triggered. I'm fuming. I'm scared. I'm confused. I'm ashamed of humanity. Someone, a reader on her blog, reported her family to CPS.

As upset as I am. I recognize it.... another version of victim blaming. Of course you report a mother, in her darkest days, in the oblivion of loss and pain, because if I'm a more perfect parent then I won't lose my child so I'm going to tell the government that you're a bad parent and make it so that I'm perfect and untouchable by tragedy.



What this says, you spineless coward. Is that you do not have a soul, you do not have a heart, you are subhuman. The fact that you even thought to do this speak volumes, but you actually CONTACTED CPS on a grieving mother who hasn't done anything beyond loving her children. Shameful. This mama is 2 weeks out from losing her baby, a baby she was still breastfeeding, and now has to prove that not only is she a good mama but she also has it insinuated that SHE'S responsible for her child's death. Dear anonymous person, you are a bad person.

And CPS persons who are assuming guilt, who have no heart, get a new career. You're not helping a family when you come in, blame their baby's death on them, and tell them they are bad parents. They're already doing that to themselves, now the threat of losing more children looms. How could you? Why would you? Shame on you.

I'd say I'm speechless but obviously I'm not. Please STOP all forms of victim blaming, and just let families mourn!


  1. I love you sweet mama! You are absolutely 100% correct....far too many people have nothing better to do than judge others. It is far more important to place oneself into some else's shoes and LOVE them....as I read her post and as I hear you talk of your sweet little Bram, all I hear in my head is "and a child shall lead them." It is indeed all about LOVE. We all must LOVE each other more completely.

  2. Of course I absolutely agree with you. How unbelievably heartless. I can't believe we live in a world like this.

  3. How sad :o( My youngest daughter is 15 months. SIDS always scared me, but to read that now I am scared again. I will keep this family in my thoughts. Jennie

  4. I had to deal with CPS when my baby died. It was horrible. They wouldn't leave me alone in the hospital and I wasn't home more than 20 minutes before they were at my doorstep. And they made everyone leave so they could grill me for questioning for their baseless case. I cannot for the life of me understand why people think that just because it wasn't them that the mother must have done something, or didn't love her baby enough, or whatever other fuckery they come up with. I am sorry you are feeling this pain and living this nightmare. <3


Thanks for reading and loving Bram!