Thursday, January 3, 2013

It's a new year...

2013 is the year he never got to see

The first full calendar year I have to live without my heart.

I remember so many of Bram's firsts. These are firsts I never fathomed would exist for me.

Yesterday we got his clothes from the police and his case was offically closed. I held his clothes, caked with his blood, with gravel, with pieces of him and his hair, the last clothes to touch his perfect living body. Tattered and destroyed just as his body was. In his pocket he had a toy and I held that. And his shoes. He had just got them the day before and ran around the house with nothing on but his new shoes and a snow hat. Had us laughing.

Then we watched the video that K took on that morning. To hear his voice, to hear him say mommy, to hear him laugh. <3

I want him back so much. I want my baby.


  1. oh my heart :'( I'm so so sad for you dear Sami <3

  2. Oh Samantha...tears for you once again =(
    I wish I could do more...all I can do is pray...and so I pray!

  3. i love you, sweet friend.

  4. Heart-wrenching. So sorry Sam! He is an angel in Heaven. It won't bring him back, but you WILL meet him again. (((HUGS))) -Franny

  5. Sorry that you are going through this, missing your perfect boy! Our family is blessed to have the print to always remember your precious boy who has touched so very many!! Hugs, love, and prayers!


Thanks for reading and loving Bram!